Panties and Soccer Socks

Ryan agreed to play a game of indoor soccer. His sister's team needed a sub. Ryan used to play soccer like a pro; that was years ago. He has the skills, however his body doesn't always allow him to show off those skills. As he was suiting up he strutted around and asked me, "Do you like my panties? Sexy huh?!" Don't worry, the kids were not scarred by this because they were not in the room. I chuckled as I warned him that I can understand why he uses the term panties (we do have only girls in the house), however he better not ever say that word when referring to what he's wearing, or he's never gonna hear the end of it. He had to search through several boxes before he found his shin guards and soccer socks. Like I said, it's been years since he's played soccer! He sat down to put them on and Brinlee, noticing him struggling asked, "Daddy, do you need help putting your sock on?" Again, I laughed. By the time he had his socks on (several grunts later) there was a big hole in the top where he'd been pulling them up. I asked him if his socks were inside out because the Adidas symbol was so stretched out that it was unrecognizable. It took some close examination to figure out that they were indeed on correctly. A few grunts later he had his shoes on. He stood up and let out a huge sigh. "Whew, I just used up all of my energy getting dressed!" When he got back home it took all the energy and patience I had to remove the socks from his massive calves. Yes, I am that out of shape too. I wonder if they make plus size soccer socks. Hmmmm.... His poor legs were permanently creased where the socks were just short of being surgically removed moments before. So next time you see Ryan, ask him about his panties and soccer socks. LOL!