Kylee's Rise To Fame

As my daughters are getting older, they are obsessed about boobies. I often catch them trying on my bras. Kylee decided it would be a brilliant idea to tie my bra to the end of a jump rope and dangle it down the stairway. Joel and one of his female friends were downstairs hanging out. Ryan and I were chit chatting with them when out of nowhere my dangling bra wacked me in the face. Kylee thought this was the most hilarious thing ever to happen in the Robertson household. She proceeded to put my bra on and with a grabbing of the cups motion she announced,"Someday I'm going to be famous because of these babies!" Oh my, oh my! What to do? We had to have a little chat about morality and modesty while trying to keep a straight face. Ryan and I giggled about that one for a while. Let's hope she doesn't pursue this so called fame she was talking about.

Panties and Soccer Socks

Ryan agreed to play a game of indoor soccer. His sister's team needed a sub. Ryan used to play soccer like a pro; that was years ago. He has the skills, however his body doesn't always allow him to show off those skills. As he was suiting up he strutted around and asked me, "Do you like my panties? Sexy huh?!" Don't worry, the kids were not scarred by this because they were not in the room. I chuckled as I warned him that I can understand why he uses the term panties (we do have only girls in the house), however he better not ever say that word when referring to what he's wearing, or he's never gonna hear the end of it. He had to search through several boxes before he found his shin guards and soccer socks. Like I said, it's been years since he's played soccer! He sat down to put them on and Brinlee, noticing him struggling asked, "Daddy, do you need help putting your sock on?" Again, I laughed. By the time he had his socks on (several grunts later) there was a big hole in the top where he'd been pulling them up. I asked him if his socks were inside out because the Adidas symbol was so stretched out that it was unrecognizable. It took some close examination to figure out that they were indeed on correctly. A few grunts later he had his shoes on. He stood up and let out a huge sigh. "Whew, I just used up all of my energy getting dressed!" When he got back home it took all the energy and patience I had to remove the socks from his massive calves. Yes, I am that out of shape too. I wonder if they make plus size soccer socks. Hmmmm.... His poor legs were permanently creased where the socks were just short of being surgically removed moments before. So next time you see Ryan, ask him about his panties and soccer socks. LOL!

Attacked by a Midget

It's true, I was really attacked by a midget (a miniature pony that is). I got a phone call from my dad, who was in Boston at the time, saying that Bandit (one of the mini's) was out. I told him I'd check on it. I peeked out the window, but wasn't able to see anything. I crept down the stairs and poked my head out the door, but was still unable to see him. I didn't have any shoes on, so I grabbed a pair of Ryan's that were on the shoe rack. At this point I am beginning to loath that cute little pony, however I still thought it was cute. "It's a miniature horse, how hard could it be to capture it and return it to it's brother?" Needless to say, I underestimated the little guy! He was hanging out with the big boy horses. I think he must have been suffering from the little horse syndrome. I was able to slip the rope around his neck with ease which confirmed my delusion that this was going to be easy. In my attempt to lead him back, he planted his hooves in the ground and, like a stubborn mule, would not move. His strength was impressive! I pulled and pulled with all my might. Different tactics were implemented to persuade him to come with me. I attempted to be nice and talk gently to him. That didn't work. I attempted to yell at him and use physical force. That didn't work. Maybe a little smack on the butt would get him moving. It did. He took off running, but I was not going to let go of that rope! Not a chance. The next thing I knew I was doing a somersault and Ryan's shoes and my cell phone were literally flying through the air. You see, it's very difficult to walk in shoes that are 4 sizes too large, let alone run in them on uneven terrain (covered in horse manure, that was now all over me). I just may have broken my toe, and definitely damaged my pride. The first thing I did was look around to see if anyone witnessed my moment of shame. In that instant I no longer had thoughts of him being cute, in any way shape or form. It took some outsmarting on my part to finally get a hold of him again, but by golly I got him. Again, he would not move. I even had Tay and Ky come out to try and coax him along, but he was not having it. Hating to admit defeat I decided to tie him up to the fence and let Marcus deal with him. I did manage to put a halter on him, tho (you're welcome, Marcus). The other horses must have been conspiring with him, because they kept biting on the rope and pulling on it, nearly untying him. As I was redoing the knot, taking away some of the slack, so he wouldn't have as much freedom (I was going to make him pay), he decided to jump up on me like a dog. He nailed me right in the center of my forehead, and some other places that I didn't really notice at the time because my head was throbbing too hard. Loathing was no longer the right word to describe my feelings for this "cute" little pony. Despise. . . yeah, that would be a better word. I was also angry at my dad and Marcus, because I knew they were going to make so much fun of me, which they did. What made me even more furious is that when Marcus came over, he was able to just walk that stupid animal right back. Steven always called Marcus, "Midget" growing up. I guess Marcus and Bandit share that special midget bond, and that's why they get along so well. Anyway, the rest of the evening was spent in bed with a horrific headache that made me vomit a few times, due to the excruciating pain. A week and a half later, I still have a bump and a bruise right in the center of my forehead as proof that I was attacked by a midget. :O)

Coloring Contest

My mom brought over some coloring contest pages for my kids to color. They did their best work even though I told them I probably wouldn't be able to turn them in before the due date. They took them over to Grandma's house, because she makes it down town more often than I do. She turned them in and we didn't think much more about it. Then Saturday, October 30th rolled around, and the kids were super excited as they were getting ready to go trick or treating. Ryan got a phone call, "Hello? Yeah. Oh really? Okay. Thanks, bye." That perked my curiosity. It turned out to be Fresh Market calling to let us know that Marlee won the coloring contest. "Marlee?" was Tay and Ky's response. They couldn't believe that Marlee won and they didn't. I was so glad that it was Marlee, because she always feels like her coloring is bad in comparison to Tay and Ky's. It forced them to be a bit more humble as well. Ryan picked it up yesterday. It was a glow-in-the-dark trick or treating basket filled with treats, a glow stick, and a Halloween Beanie Baby(an orange bear without feet, but rather a ghost tail). It brought a smile to my face when her face lit up as she sifted through the various prizes. To think that I wasn't even going to turn them in. Lesson learned!

The Logic of an 8 Year Old

The other day I picked Kylee up from school, because she didn't want to walk home alone (Taylee went home with her friend). School pictures were coming up, and I told the kids I wasn't buying them this time. Funds are low and we just had family pictures taken, not too long ago. On our way home Kylee asked me, "Mom, if you only had one kid, would you buy them more stuff?" I responded, "Well, if I had only one kid, then I'd have a bit more money to be able to buy them more things, but I would not spoil them rotten." Then she said, "Would you buy them school pictures?" I said, "Probably." Kylee, very matter of factly replied, "Then why won't you buy me and Taylee's school pictures? There's only two of us in school, so it's not much more than it would be if you only had one kid." I couldn't help but laugh, because she had really thought this through. I had to explain to her that if I got school pictures, I would want to get pictures of the other kids too, and that gets really expensive. I had to admit that her logic made sense, and was proud of her for her creative thinking. :O)

The new and improved ME!

I can't believe I have neglected my duties as a blogger! I am back, and hope to get better at creating new posts. So my latest obsession is Herbalife! I was on a diet and lost a significant amount of weight, but got to a point where I was no longer losing (even after a month of giving up all the foods I love the most). I stumbled across Herbalife while I was online and decided to give it a try. I lost 7 lbs. in my first week! I also had more energy than I have had since I was a teenager. Weird! My kids thought I was crazy, because I wasn't taking my daily nap, I was playing games with them, and being silly. I was sooo excited! I knew I was going to be using these products for a while (because I loved them so much), so I decided to become a distributor. This way I can get the products for a discounted rate, and make a little money on the side. I know there are so many of you that could really benefit from these products too, so I will be able to get them for you as well. They have something for everyone! Anyway, with all this energy that I have now I have been busy cleaning my house, playing with my kids, and actually keeping up with them. I just want to shout it from the rooftops, and get everyone I know and care about to get on these amazing products too(not just because I want their money, but because I know they will love them as much as I do)! :O) I am really enjoying the new and improved ME!

Near Death Experience

Have I mentioned that with 4 girls there's lots of drama? Ryan and I planned this, what we thought, exciting day of tubing down the Weber River. It was exciting alright, but not in the way we had hoped. We got all geared up and ready. At first the kids thought it was great fun floating down the relaxing lazy river. Ryan and I were pretty pleased with ourselves for coming up with such a wonderful idea. . . . until that dreadful first set of rapids came along and ruined everything (curse those rapids). Taylee was knocked right off her tube and Ryan, being the hero that he is, grabbed her in mid-air. The tube, however, was not so lucky. It was left behind, waiting for someone to come and save it. Ryan put Tay on his tube and went on a search and rescue mission to retrieve it. When we started off, Taylee, Kylee, and Ryan were hooked together while Marlee and myself were together. The kids all had life jackets as an extra precaution. Oh, don't worry, Brinlee was left behind with Uncle Marc (we at least had a little common sense). When Ryan went to get the tube, that left Tay and Ky hooked together, but only momentarily. This is the near death part. . . or so they thought. They got disconnected and the distance between them was growing greater and greater with every second that went by. I think they thought that either their sister, their dad, or they themselves were going to die. At least that's how I interpreted the sound of screaming and crying that was so violently escaping their mouths. To make matters worse, despite my tremendous efforts, I could NOT catch up to them. I instructed Kylee, who was quite a ways behind me, to stick to the side of the river and try to grab a branch, and wait for Dad. I finally caught up to Tay, who fell off her tube AGAIN. All the while Marlee is screaming and crying because we were leaving Dad and Kylee behind, and she wanted to go home. It didn't help that the water was freezing and the wind was blowing. Our teeth were literally chattering, and we had some serious goosebumps going on. We could finally see Ryan and Kylee behind us. This settled Tay and Mar down a bit. When I asked Kylee what ended up happening she started to cry as recalled the events that took place during her traumatic experience. I warned you that my girls were dramatic. Of course we hit a few more rapids and every time, without fail, Marlee would scream and cry (harder than she was already crying, and yell at me because she didn't like the "big ones." As if I had any control over the river, it was somehow my fault according to her. I think it made her angry that I enjoyed the "big ones." The whole time I was attempting to convince the kids that this was fun. They would NOT agree! It was scary, cold, and did I mention scary?! There were a few times that we had to battle with the branches that lined the edges of the river on each side, in order to keep our lovely faces intact, which they loved almost as much as the rapids. All in all, Ryan and I decided that we will wait a few years before we do that with the kids again. It would have been very enjoyable, had it not been for the near death experiences.